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Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 31, 2017

Aries: They say there’s nothing quite like the bond between a mother and her child, but then they have yet to see your experimental new adhesive compound. Taurus: The stars, in their infinite wisdom, recommend that you check yourself this week, as not doing so might lead you to wreck yourself in the future.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:
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A Complete History Of Art

Unknown - Venus of Willendorf

Discovered in 1908 in Austria, this paleolithic carving from 24,000 BCE represents one of the earliest examples of the human figure known to modern scholars.

Alexandros of Antioch - Venus de Milo

Created sometime between 130 and 100 BCE, the Venus de Milo is considered one of the quintessential examples of ancient Greek sculpture.

Michaelangelo - The Fall From Grace (Detail of Eve)

This figure is one of more than 300 painted by Michelangelo on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, regarded as one of the most celebrated artworks of the High Renaissance.

Vincent van Gogh - Nude Woman Reclining

The Post-Impressionistic style pioneered by Dutch painter Vincent van Gogh was considered revolutionary at the time.

Edgar Degas - Woman Drying Herself

Impressionist Edgar Degas was unique among his peers for preferring to work in pastel instead of oil paint.

Man Ray - Untitled (Natasha)

Surrealist photographer Man Ray used a technique called solarization to lend his portraits a stark, metallic quality as well as a distinctive aura effect.

Salvador Dali - Honey Is Sweeter Than Blood

Though not at the peak of his surrealist powers, Dali nonetheless brought his genius for detail and dream imagery to this 1941 masterpiece.

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Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

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