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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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A Pope Remembered

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Pope Admits: "God Ain't Said Shit To Me"
Vatican Unveils New Pope Signal
Pope Calls For Greater Understanding Between Catholics, Hellbound
Pope Condemns Three More Glands
Vatican Rescinds 'Blessed' Status Of World's Meek: "Screw The Meek," Says Pope
Aging Pope "Just Blessing Everything In Sight," Handlers Say
Vatican Warns Against Increasingly Healthy Attitudes Towards Sex
Pope Asks To Be Taken Off List Of World’s 100 Richest People
Excited Catholics Already Lining Up For Pope's Funeral
Pope Forgives Molested Children
Pope John Paul II: 25 Years Of Laughs

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