adBlockCheck

Recent News

Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.

Grandma Looking Like Absolute Shit Lately

VERO BEACH, FL—Unable to ignore the 86-year-old’s dramatic physical decline since they last saw her, sources within the Delahunt family reported Monday that their grandmother Shirley is looking like absolute shit lately.

A Basic Guide To Dream Interpretation

Dreaming is a universal human experience, and many similar themes arise in people’s dreams the world over. The Onion provides some context for interpreting these common dreams:
End Of Section
  • More News

Action Heroes

Heroic Secret Service Agent Takes Question Intended For Bush
Ex-Cop Drawn Into Web Of Intrigue And Deceit By Frequently Naked Woman
Kickboxer, Starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, To Continue In A Moment
Terrorist Bomb Not Defused In Thrilling, Suspense-Packed Final Minutes
Hong Kong Leaders Make Desperate Plea To Jackie Chan
Six-Year-Old's Birthday Party Hampered By 85,000 Gallons of Combustible Fuel Oil
Military Promises 'Huge Numbers' For Gulf War II: The Vengeance
Upcoming Los Angeles Earthquake 'Will Be Huge,' Insiders Say

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close