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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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Adopt-A-Slide: These 10 Slides Still Need A Slideshow Home

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Hi! I used to be part of a slideshow called “REWIND! 10 Board Games That Take Us Back To The ’80s.” I’m quite friendly and I really love to be around other slides. Adopt me today!
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Talk about adorable! This slide has the spunky attitude and re-click potential that will leave you wondering how it hasn’t already found a forever home in someone’s “Top 10 Ways To Get Your Monday Started Off Right” slideshow.
This slide’s JPEG file suffered some pretty extensive damage and was left with nowhere to go. But now it’s fixed up and as good as ever, and just needs a nice, loving slideshow to curl up in!
This photo of Paul Newman came to us from the Huffington Post slideshow “Celebrities Who Died In 2008,” but would also be equally happy in slideshows like “Best Actors Of All Time,” “Handsome Actors From The 1970s,” or “The Cast of Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid: Where Are They Now?”
Malcolm Gladwell isn’t dead yet, but when he does die, this slide is going to need a good “Remembering Malcolm Gladwell” slideshow to call home.
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This “Signs You’re Obsessed With Lost” slide is 9 years old, but still has so much to offer! Just a few minutes on your screen and you’ll fall in love just like we did. *Note: This slide will be deleted if it is not adopted by October 21*

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