Adopt-A-Slide: These 10 Slides Still Need A Slideshow Home

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Vol 49 Issue 40

Packers Go With No-Cuddle Offense

GREEN BAY, WI—Seeking to quicken the game’s pace by not cuddling up before every snap, Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers confirmed that his team plans to run a no-cuddle offense on Sunday against the Detroit Lions.

Giant Hornets Terrorize Central China

The Chinese province of Shaanxi has been devastated by Asian giant hornets, which are the size of a human thumb and have venom capable of causing kidney failure, with hornet attacks hospitalizing over 200 citizens and injuring nearly 1,500 more this year.

Onion Sports’ NFL Week Five Picks

OSN shares its expert analysis on the teams that will come away with victory in this weekend’s NFL week five games: Bills at Browns OSN’s Lock Of The Week: Browns – Starting quarterback Brian Hoyer will injure his k...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Productivity

Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Challenging long-accepted scientific convention, a group of leading MIT scientists published a report Thursday positing that, under certain rare and specific conditions, a so-called “productive weekend” is theoretically pos...

Comedy

Adopt-A-Slide: These 10 Slides Still Need A Slideshow Home

Hi! I used to be part of a slideshow called “REWIND! 10 Board Games That Take Us Back To The ’80s.” I’m quite friendly and I really love to be around other slides. Adopt me today!
Just try to look at this “OMG! Worst Tattoo FAIL Of All Time” slide and not absolutely melt! Our slide adoption specialists are standing by.
Talk about adorable! This slide has the spunky attitude and re-click potential that will leave you wondering how it hasn’t already found a forever home in someone’s “Top 10 Ways To Get Your Monday Started Off Right” slideshow.
This slide’s JPEG file suffered some pretty extensive damage and was left with nowhere to go. But now it’s fixed up and as good as ever, and just needs a nice, loving slideshow to curl up in!
This photo of Paul Newman came to us from the Huffington Post slideshow “Celebrities Who Died In 2008,” but would also be equally happy in slideshows like “Best Actors Of All Time,” “Handsome Actors From The 1970s,” or “The Cast of Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid: Where Are They Now?”
Malcolm Gladwell isn’t dead yet, but when he does die, this slide is going to need a good “Remembering Malcolm Gladwell” slideshow to call home.
This poor little slide has been rejected by numerous slideshows for being too sexually graphic, but he still needs a good home!
Sadly, this slide came from an abusive home. But with your love and affection, he’ll be a happy and healthy slide again in no time!
This dog isn’t up for adoption and has already been euthanized, but the slide that contains him is doing great and is ready for adoption! Call now for details!
This “Signs You’re Obsessed With Lost” slide is 9 years old, but still has so much to offer! Just a few minutes on your screen and you’ll fall in love just like we did. *Note: This slide will be deleted if it is not adopted by October 21*
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