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The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.
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Ariel Sharon: A Life

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February 26, 1928: Ariel Sharon, who would eventually come to be regarded by Israeli leaders as the “greatest field commander” of his time, is born to Shmuel and Vera Scheinerman in the northern Israeli town of Kfar Malal.
1942: At just 14 years of age, Sharon joins Hagana, a Jewish guerilla movement, and helps defend Jewish settlements from violent enemies bent on their destruction.
1948: After months of successfully leading hit-and-run paramilitary raids on enemy forces, a 20-year-old Ariel Sharon is recognized for his bravery and valor and is awarded command of a battalion for the newly formed Israeli Defense Forces during Israel’s War of Independence.
October 1953: A 25-year-old Sharon is personally selected by Prime Minister David Ben-Gurion to command a newly created elite special forces squad known as Unit 101. Following the killing of an Israeli woman and her children, Sharon leads a counterattack on a Jordanian town said to be harboring militants but ultimately kills 69 civilians, over half women and children, in what was unfortunately yet undeniably collateral damage in an already brutal war.
June 5-10, 1967: During the infamous Six-Day War between Israel and the armies of Egypt, Jordan, and Syria, Sharon heroically fends off enemy forces and masterfully captures the West Bank, Gaza Strip, Sinai Peninsula, and Golan Heights.
1970s-1990s: While serving as a member of the legislature and various high-ranking positions within the Israeli administration, Sharon bravely pushes for the construction of Jewish settlements in the West Bank and Gaza Strip, repeatedly overcoming violent hostility from his opponents to achieve his goals.
1981: In a sign of deep respect and trust from government leaders as well as his fellow countrymen, Sharon is appointed Israel’s minister of defense and promptly launches the First Lebanon War the following year. Although Sharon would be unfairly forced to resign in 1983 for his role in the death of hundreds of Palestinian refugees in Beirut during the campaign, no one could deny that the great military leader worked tirelessly toward the singular goal of providing for the safety and security of his people.
February 7, 2001: Sharon is elected Prime Minister of Israel in the largest landslide victory in the country’s history, a position that brings even more distinction to his already legendary name.
August 5, 2005: Despite his long-held support for the expansion of Jewish settlements in the region, Sharon evacuates Israeli settlers and troops from Gaza in a magnanimous effort to broker peace—a selfless and visionary gesture that sadly goes unreciprocated by his counterparts on the other side.
January 5, 2006: Tragedy strikes Israel when Sharon suffers a massive stroke, prompting his doctors to place the renowned leader in a medically induced coma.
January 11, 2014: Sharon succumbs to his condition in a hospital near Tel Aviv at the age of 85. Sharon dies a hero, a leader of unparalleled ability, and above all else, a lasting symbol of courage, determination, and fearlessness.
Little Caesars is proud to sponsor this tribute to the late, great Ariel Sharon. We hope you enjoyed it.

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