Before One Direction: A Look Back At History

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Vol 49 Issue 34

Breaking Bad

AMC 9 p.m. EDT/8 p.m. CDT LeVar Burton takes children out to a river, where they catch rainbow trout and try to discern the fish’s personality just by how it flops around on the shore.

Monday, September 2

Due to budget cuts, beginning next week the library is replacing Movie Mondays with Blondie Comic–Reading Mondays.

$80,000 Wedding Beautiful

The Obama family adopts a 44-Year-Old Portuguese water man, a report shows that employers know within the first five minutes whether or not they will murder an applicant, and well, the neighbors just got a pitbull.

Chuck Klosterman Corners Guy At Party Wearing Dio Shirt

NEW YORK—Author Chuck Klosterman reportedly cornered a guy who was wearing a Dio shirt at a party Thursday evening and dominated an exhaustive discussion on the metal band, addressing the group’s fantasy themes, deconstructing lyrics, and expo...

Ben Affleck To Play Batman

The president of Warner Bros. announced yesterday that Ben Affleck will play the role of Batman in the 2015 sequel to this summer’s Man of Steel, in which Batman will join forces with Superman.
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Fun

  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

Before One Direction: A Look Back At History

300 million BC: More than 300 million years before the boys lit up the charts with their hit single “What Makes You Beautiful,” spiders evolved from crab-like ancestors called chelicerata, which originated as marine mammals during the Cambrian period.
3350 BC: The first written language, Sumerian, develops in Mesopotamia, allowing for the rise of human civilization and the crafting of One Direction's smash single, "Live While We're Young."
221 BC: Chinese emperor Qin Shi Huang orders the construction of the Great Wall, a full 2,233 years before One Direction won their first VMA for Best Pop Video.
476: Romulus Augustulus abdicates to barbarian military leader Flavius Odoacer, drawing the Roman Empire to a close, much in the same way that One Direction's ascension up the pop charts heralded the downfall of Irish boy band Westlife.
1066: The Battle of Hastings concludes with William the Conqueror's decisive victory over King Harold II, securing the Norman conquest of England on the bloody battlefields of East Sussex, just 79 miles away from where One Direction would later meet as contestants on The X Factor.
1346-1353: The Black Death sweeps through Europe, killing as many as 200 million people.
1776: Thomas Paine publishes the highly influential revolutionary pamphlet 'Common Sense,' arguing for freedom from British rule. Although unrelated to Liam Payne in any way, their last names sound the same when said aloud.
1936: Television legend Alan Alda is born, much like Harry Styles, Zayn Malik, Niall Horan, Liam Payne and Louis Tomlinson, who were all also later born.
1991-2002: The Sierra Leone Civil War ends in the deaths of more than 50,000 individuals. One Direction recorded a cover of the Kings of Leon's 'Use Somebody' in 2012.
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