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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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Celebrating Diversity

Racist Figurines March On Washington
Graphic Artist Carefully Assigns Ethnicities To Anthropomorphic Recyclables
Black Guy Photoshopped In
Strip Club Makes Commitment To Hire More Minorities
Nostalgia Prompts Return Of Negro Baseball Leagues
All-Minority Postal Staff Undergoes Mandatory Diversity Training
Maya Angelou Honored For Courage, Blackness
Jesse Jackson Honored For Providing Inner-City Youths With Increased Photo Opportunities

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