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Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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Celebrating Diversity

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Racist Figurines March On Washington
Graphic Artist Carefully Assigns Ethnicities To Anthropomorphic Recyclables
Black Guy Photoshopped In
Strip Club Makes Commitment To Hire More Minorities
Nostalgia Prompts Return Of Negro Baseball Leagues
All-Minority Postal Staff Undergoes Mandatory Diversity Training
Maya Angelou Honored For Courage, Blackness
Jesse Jackson Honored For Providing Inner-City Youths With Increased Photo Opportunities

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