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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Gun Crime

Victims Sought In Next Week's Shooting
8-Year-Old Accidentally Exercises Second Amendment Rights
Twelve Customers Gunned Down In Convenience-Store Clerk's Imagination
NYPD Apologizes For Accidental Shooting-Clubbing-Stabbing-Firebombing Death
Unknown Gunman In Hardee's Parking Lot On Verge International Prominence
Devious Rabbit Tricks Bush Into Signing Gun Ban
School Shooting Solves All Of Troubled Youth's Problems
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