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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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Hot Boys We Liked In 2012

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Mike: Mike has been hot every year since 2009, and guess what? Mike’s still hot.
Max: Pretty much the hottest boy in school except Joey.
Joey: Hot, like so hot he’s hotter than Max, even.
Connor: Ohmygod.
Matthew: LOL!!! Omg so mean, he can’t help it.
Jake: Now that Jake is on the baseball team he is pretty hot.
Unknown: That boy we saw at the mall who was so hot.
Fox News Anchor Bret Baier
Davie: Davie Trahan is so freaking hot, so it’s easy to forget he shit himself in Mr. Gove’s gym class back in second grade.
Albert: But he’s already dating Alessandra so keep this to yourself.
Ethan: Who is that again? Oh yeah, he’s cute.
Andrew: God, he’s such a dick, but he is just so hot.

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