Lives Cut Short By The Fire

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Vol 47 Issue 22

Point Of Story Apparently That Man Ate At Restaurant

ELYSBURG, PA—Friends of 33-year-old Dan Leski were subjected Tuesday to a detailed account of his recent visit to a restaurant, the sole point of which was apparently to communicate the fact that Leski had eaten food and then paid for it.

Educated Bigot That Much More Terrifying

FAYETTEVILLE, AR—After arguing with a well-read, articulate racist Wednesday, area man Daniel Truett described the experience as "bone-chilling," telling reporters it was far scarier than any encounter with an ignorant bigot ever could hav...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Lives Cut Short By The Fire

6-year-old Moxie loved to run and dig when he was not suffering debilitating seizures.
Rory the arthritic German Shepherd thought every passing car might be the Rogers family station wagon.
Even after Miss Frida struggled walking, she could still give the sweetest doggy kisses.
The Dickerson family's lab is said to have reached an internal temperature of 850 degrees.
Captain Jack liked to sleep on the big piles of hay and imagine it was his old friend Billy's lap.
15-year-old Lacey's dual cataracts caused her to scurry blindly right into the inferno.
Waldorf, the Saint Bernard sent to the farm by the Garcia family, narrowly survived a house fire in 2003.
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