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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Lives Cut Short By The Fire

6-year-old Moxie loved to run and dig when he was not suffering debilitating seizures.
Rory the arthritic German Shepherd thought every passing car might be the Rogers family station wagon.
Even after Miss Frida struggled walking, she could still give the sweetest doggy kisses.
The Dickerson family's lab is said to have reached an internal temperature of 850 degrees.
Captain Jack liked to sleep on the big piles of hay and imagine it was his old friend Billy's lap.
15-year-old Lacey's dual cataracts caused her to scurry blindly right into the inferno.
Waldorf, the Saint Bernard sent to the farm by the Garcia family, narrowly survived a house fire in 2003.

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