adBlockCheck

Local

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.
End Of Section
  • More News

Lives Cut Short By The Fire

Advertisement
6-year-old Moxie loved to run and dig when he was not suffering debilitating seizures.
Rory the arthritic German Shepherd thought every passing car might be the Rogers family station wagon.
Even after Miss Frida struggled walking, she could still give the sweetest doggy kisses.
The Dickerson family's lab is said to have reached an internal temperature of 850 degrees.
Captain Jack liked to sleep on the big piles of hay and imagine it was his old friend Billy's lap.
15-year-old Lacey's dual cataracts caused her to scurry blindly right into the inferno.
Waldorf, the Saint Bernard sent to the farm by the Garcia family, narrowly survived a house fire in 2003.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close