Our Judicial System

Top Headlines

Recent News

Most Likely Candidates For Trump’s Cabinet

If elected president, Donald Trump will have the opportunity to nominate up to 15 cabinet members, each advising him on executive departments. Here are the most rumored choices for Trump’s inner circle.

Cake Just Sitting There

Take It

CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.

Siblings Each Hoping Other One Will Take Care Of Aging Parents Someday

CLEVELAND—Explaining that they simply didn’t want to have to deal with the immense time commitment and emotional exhaustion, sisters Katie and Ellen Cattell each privately admitted to reporters this week that they were hoping the other sibling would someday be the one to take care of their aging parents.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Our Judicial System

Michael Jackson Hires Magical Anthropomorphic Giraffe As Defense Lawyer
Federal Court Orders Cosmopolitan To Reveal Beauty Secrets
Federal Judge Rules Parker Brothers Holds Monopoly Monopoly
Supreme Court Told To Take Down Tip Jar
Jurisprudence Fetishist Gets Off On Technicality
Judge Hatchett Ruling Overturned By Judge Joe Brown
Supreme Court Rules Restaurant Patron Must Try This Cheesecake
Court Summons Comes With 1,025 Free Hours Of AOL
Lawyer Friend Makes Strong Case For Nachos
Supreme Court Overturns Car


Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close