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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Political Campaigns

Barack Obama Tiger Beat Cover Clinches Slumber Party Vote
Senate Candidate Drops Out Of Race Due To Shyness
Kerry: Stem-Cell Research May Hold Cure To Ailing Campaign
Dove Campaign For Real Beauty Announces 2008 Presidential Candidate
Mysterious Congressman Challenges Leading Candidates To Debate At Dawn
Kerry Makes Whistle-Stop Tour From Deck Of Yacht
Gore Delivers Emergency Presidential Address Into Bathroom Mirror
Bush Re-Election Campaign Creates Thousands Of New Jobs
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