Recalled Pugs

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Disney Unveils First Virgin Princess

LOS ANGELES—In an effort to better reflect the diverse backgrounds and experiences of their audience, Disney officials this week introduced Lily of Hazelberry, the company’s first virgin princess.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

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Recalled Pugs

Meredith's fused intestines and chronic wandering lung syndrome (WLS) now confine her to a small cabinet in her owner's living room.
La Choy suffers from spinning eyeballs.
Sarge vomits every hour, on the hour.
Squeaky Fromme bravely battles hip, shoulder, neck, ear, and tail dysplasia.
Tanklet frequently experiences internal and external bleeding.
In March, Beergoggles was diagnosed with Mildewed Face.
Daisy's total paralysis forces her owner to push her across the floor with a broom.
Because his skull plates never fused in the womb, Hubcap can only obtain relief from his cluster headaches by sexually abusing a small squeak toy.
Nougat's reverse-sneezing condition required veterinary surgeons to remove one-and-a-half pounds of mucus from his frontal lobe region.
Some veterinary scientists and animal physiologists do not consider Osvaldo Pugliese a pug, but a large goiter.
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