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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?

President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.

Being A Mom Was The Best Four Years Of My Life!

As I get older, I find myself reflecting on my life more often and marveling at what an amazing journey it’s been. I’ve made tons of great friends, been to magnificent places all over the world, and learned so many important things about myself along the way. But if I’m being honest, there’s one period of my life that stands out from all the rest: those four incredible years when I was a mom.
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REWIND! 10 Sharp Knives That Scarred You For Life

That sturdy black handle, the 10-inch blade, that glinting serrated edge—that’s gotta take you right back!
Bet you think about this one every time you look at that long cut on your shoulder blade, eh?
SLASH! This one still gets us every time!
Remember this little guy? How you thought it couldn’t break the skin?
Give me your fucking wallet! Just kidding. Classic knife, though.
This one definitely left its mark on our wrists.
How could you ever forget old plaintiff’s exhibit 10?
Don’t remember this guy? Think hard. Hot July day, your kitchen, the screen door shutting as everyone except you went outside. Come on, you remember—staring down at your hands, slipping on the floor moments later as you ran out to tell mom. Is it coming back now?
Sure, you were just scarred by this one last week, but it still counts.
Yup, there she is. Bet you didn’t think your stepdad had it in him, did you?

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