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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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REWIND! 10 Sharp Knives That Scarred You For Life

That sturdy black handle, the 10-inch blade, that glinting serrated edge—that’s gotta take you right back!
Bet you think about this one every time you look at that long cut on your shoulder blade, eh?
SLASH! This one still gets us every time!
Remember this little guy? How you thought it couldn’t break the skin?
Give me your fucking wallet! Just kidding. Classic knife, though.
This one definitely left its mark on our wrists.
How could you ever forget old plaintiff’s exhibit 10?
Don’t remember this guy? Think hard. Hot July day, your kitchen, the screen door shutting as everyone except you went outside. Come on, you remember—staring down at your hands, slipping on the floor moments later as you ran out to tell mom. Is it coming back now?
Sure, you were just scarred by this one last week, but it still counts.
Yup, there she is. Bet you didn’t think your stepdad had it in him, did you?
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