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Meteorologists Say Upcoming Hurricane Season To Be Permanent

SILVER SPRING, MD—Warning residents to prepare for extreme winds, heavy rainfall, and flooding starting in the near future and continuing indefinitely, meteorologists at the National Weather Service announced Friday that the upcoming hurricane season would be permanent.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Fatherhood

  • Father Apologizes For Taking Out Anger On Wrong Son

    ELIZABETH, NJ—Moments after losing his composure with an unwarranted emotional outburst, local father David Kessler reportedly apologized to his son Christopher Thursday for erroneously taking out his anger on him and not his older brother Peter.

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Safety

Consumer Safety Commission Fondly Recalls Stretch Armstrong Doll
Orange Alert Sirens To Blow 24 Hours A Day In Major Cities
DMV Reconsidering 'One For the Road' Driver Relaxation Campaign
Life Jackets Issued To All Americans For Some Reason
8-Year-Old Can't Understand Why He Isn't Allowed On Roof
Surgeon General Issues Report On Dangers Of Secondhand Fire
Earth To Be Made Child-Safe
Police Race To Scene Of Car Alarm
Child-Safety Experts Call For Restrictions On Childhood Imagination