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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Scientific Breakthroughs

Defense Department Boosts Funding For $15 Billion Puppy Crusher
New Solar System Discovered Four Feet From Earth
Stephen Hawking Builds Robotic Exoskeleton
Comb Technology: Why Is It So Far Behind The Razor And Toothbrush Fields
Dolphins Evolve Opposable Thumbs 'Oh, Shit,' Says Humanity
Haggar Physicists Develop 'Quantum Slacks'
Third-Grade Scientists Successfully Vaporize Water
Mad Scientist's Plot Thwarted By Budget Cuts
Celine Dion Secluded In Lab Developing New Perfume
Coke-Sponsored Rover Finds Evidence Of Dasani On Mars
Mischievous Raccoon Wreaks Havoc On International Space Station
John Glenn Installed In Smithsonian
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