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Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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SLIDESHOW: 8 INSANELY CUTE Child Soldiers

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AWWWWWWWWWW!
Look at this little guy!
Where you going with that big ol' assault weapon, little buddy?
Um, sorry, but it's pretty adorbs how he thinks he's a big grown-up!
Three letters: O-M-G. Okay, a few more: SOOOOOO CUTE!
Okay, I officially want a child soldier now. Please let me keep him.
"I'm a big, mean soldier!" <3 <3 <3 <3
Hmm, this one is actually kind of hard to look at. Because it's so cute.

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