adBlockCheck

Business

How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Archivists Unearth Rare Early Career Paul Newman Salsa

WESTPORT, CT—Shedding light on the formative years of the late actor and philanthropist, researchers cataloging the personal archives of Paul Newman confirmed Friday they had uncovered a long-forgotten salsa from early in his career.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:
End Of Section
  • More News

The 6 Best Companies To Work For

Advertisement

Google


With locations on billions of computers, Google is by far the largest chain of search engines in the world. Each Google franchise owner benefits from an association with the technology company’s widely known brand name, but also enjoys some flexibility in terms of day-to-day management of their information-retrieval algorithms. The most successful Google owners can own franchises on a dozen or more web browsers.

Goldman Sachs


Though employees at Goldman Sachs work long, demanding hours, they are able to enjoy the unique luxury of having a dedicated 535-person team of U.S. congressmen working around the clock to cater to their every need. Between easing annoying filing requirements, offering discounted tax rates to the company and its highest-earning employees, or just reminding personnel they can do whatever they set their minds to, this army of legislators and federal financial regulators is always available to give Goldman Sachs bankers a pat on the back and help them do what they do best.

Hilton Hotels & Resorts


Employees of this international hotel chain enjoy numerous job perks, but none is more appealing than the privilege of being allowed to enter guests’ rooms after they leave for the day and put on whatever clothes they please. Using their special employees-only room keys, all Hilton staffers—from bellhops to hotel managers—are allowed to slip into any garments that guests have in their luggage, often wearing them around the premises as they continue their work, before returning later in the day and carefully putting them back exactly as they found them.

Grounds For Thought Café


At this independent café in Lawrence, KS, employees get to feel the unbelievable rush of power that comes with being the sole distributor of Wi-Fi passwords. While they typically earn no more than $10 an hour and do not receive comprehensive benefits, workers experience a thrilling adrenaline high dozens of times per day by serving as the all-powerful gatekeepers of the café’s “CoffeeBean” wireless network, unleashing an intoxicating flood of endorphins through their body every time they give a knowing half-smile and, in an ever so slightly lowered voice, bestow their godlike knowledge on another patron.

USAA Insurance


Whereas many companies enact strict policies against coworker relationships, executives at USAA Insurance have worked hard to cultivate a boundaryless zone of free love and rampant sexual experimentation within the office. The 92-year-old company, which offers comprehensive home, life, and auto insurance, eschews common guidelines against workplace romance by actively encouraging agents, managers, support staff, and interns to sate their most primal carnal desires wherever they please on USAA’s San Antonio corporate campus or at any of its hundreds of local offices nationwide.

S.K.U.L.L. Corp.


Located in a vast, heavily guarded complex and overseen by a shadowy CEO known only as “S,” this secretive conglomerate, which specializes in munitions, advanced robotics, private mercenary services, and biochemical agents, lets its employees bring their dogs to the office. As they develop experimental neurally disruptive pharmaceuticals and work toward acquiring controlling stakes in all the world’s water processing plants, workers are given the option of having their pet sit beside their desk or dropping it off at S.K.U.L.L. Corp.’s Pooch Pals dog-sitting service. S.K.U.L.L. employees also have access to a sprawling dog park at company headquarters, complimentary full-body radiation suits for the implementation of Global Phase 2, and free Milk-Bones in each floor’s Doggy Den.

More from this section

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close