adBlockCheck

Recent News

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
End Of Section
  • More News

The 8 Worst-Dressed At The Papal Conclave

We love that Cardinal Ranjith took a chance on this look, but the execution is a major fail. The cape needs to be hemmed, the cross is dangling all over the place, and that boxy floor-length robe isn’t doing his figure any favors.
Cardinal Martinez’s stylists must have taken the day off, because it’s unusual for this holy fashion maven to make a faux pas. We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again: Busy embroidery is conclave kryptonite!
Is this a sacramental vestment or an old bedspread? We can’t tell.
Liturgical vestment, embossed stole, AND headdress? Overkill. Always best to keep it simple at the conclave.
Someone needs to tell Cardinal Scherer he’s not in his 20s anymore. These vestments scream rising cardinal, not esteemed clergyman.
Red before Easter? Better luck next time, Cardinal Schonborn.
Paging 1995!
The homage to Cardinal Niccolo Fieschi is cute, but the volume on this frock just isn’t working for Cardinal Onaiyekan, who should really stick to the slimming, streamlined ensembles he’s known for.
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close
settings