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Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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The Bush Administration

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Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'
'80s Retro Craze Sweeps Executive Branch
Bush Finds Error In Fermilab Calculations
Bush Earmarks 1.5 Billion Gold Stars For Education
Bush Begins Hunger Strike To Protest Human-Rights Abuses In Nepal
Bush Begins Hunger Strike To Protest Human-Rights Abuses In Nepal
Bush Offers Taxpayers Another $300 If We Go To War
Bush Visits U.S.S. Truman For Dramatic Veterans'-Benefits-Cutting Ceremony
U.S. Government To Discontinue Long-Term, Low-Yield Investment In Nation's Youth
Bush To Make Up Missed National Guard Service This Weekend
Cheney Wows Sept. 11 Commission By Drinking Glass Of Water While Bush Speaks
Bush Finally Gets Oval Office Just The Way He Wants It
Bush Finally Gets Oval Office Just The Way He Wants It
Documents Reveal Gaps In Bush's Service As President
Bush Arrives At Debate Wearing Flight Suit

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