The Greatest Moments In Slideshow History

In This Section

Vol 50 Issue 23

Study: ‘Cool Kids’ Struggle As Adults

According to a decade-long study that tracked hundreds of teenagers into adulthood, students who were considered “cool kids” in middle school turned out to have more problems as adults, such as substance abuse and criminal behavior.

Facebook Lifts Ban On Breastfeeding Photos

After drawing criticism for prohibiting photos of breastfeeding mothers under its no-nipples policy, Facebook has quietly lifted the ban and started allowing mothers to post breastfeeding photos without risk of removal, though all other pictures of nipple...

God’s Will Only Thing Keeping AC Unit In Window

States offer millions in tax breaks to any person who says ‘high-tech jobs,’ a child is entertained for five minutes by a toy that will take 1 million years to biodegrade, and God’s will is the only thing keeping an AC unit in a window.

Aunt Enters Ninth Year Of Raving About ‘Wicked’

OGDENSBURG, NY—Praising its vibrant visual effects and declaring multiple songs “absolute showstoppers,” local aunt Treena Warner, 53, informed extended family members for the ninth consecutive year that the Broadway musical Wicked...

U.S. Coach: America Will Not Win World Cup

As the 2014 FIFA World Cup kicks off today in Brazil, U.S. coach Jürgen Klinsmann is taking flak for stating at a press conference that “For us now, talking about winning a World Cup is just not realistic,” a comment that many U.S.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Family

Report: Dad Wants To Show You Where Fuse Box Is

YOUR LOCATION—Noting that it’s important to be prepared in case of emergencies but it’s also a good thing to know in general, your dad announced today that he wants to show you where the fuse box is.

Comedy

The Greatest Moments In Slideshow History

1508-1512: In what is considered one of the highlights of Renaissance slideshows, Michelangelo adorns the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel with detailed scenes of hedgehogs having a worse day than you.
1781: Engineers design a rudimentary engine that harnesses the power of steam, using a system of pistons and cylinders to propel slides to scroll at previously unachievable speeds.
1793: Invented by Eli Whitney, the slide gin allows for the easy separation of slides. While revolutionary, the slide gin also leads to the expansion of slavery in the South, as cheap and abundant American slides quickly become an essential part of the global economy.
1869: Beginning in 1862, the U.S. commissioned the construction of two slideshows, an Eastern and a Pacific, that would eventually connect, allowing Americans to scroll uninterrupted from New York to San Francisco. The picture above depicts workers in Utah pounding the last slide into place seven years later, completing the first transcontinental slideshow.
1911: In one of the darkest moments in slideshow history, the infamous Triangle Slideshow Factory Fire sweeps through a cramped New York slideshow sweatshop, ultimately claiming the lives of 146 slideshow builders. While deadly, the tragedy ultimately leads to much-needed safety regulations for those who assemble slideshows.
1913: Henry Ford perfects the slideshow assembly line using driven conveyor belts, a process that allows the construction of a slideshow, the mounting of arrows, and the chiseling of captions in under 93 minutes.
1922: Irish author James Joyce publishes Ulysses, which, at 265,000 slides in length, is considered to be one of the most difficult yet important slideshows in modern literature.
1938: After years of painstaking research, scientists finally succeed in “splitting the slide,” a fissile process capable of unleashing the visual power of 40,000 images of totally OMG animal friendships. The discovery is later used to develop the first atomic slideshow, dropped on Japan in 1945.
1969: The famed Slidestock festival draws 400,000 young Americans to upstate New York to watch some of the biggest counterculture slideshows—from Things Only People Named Becky Will Understand, to the legendary 24 Dachshund Puppies That Are Just Too Tired—display their images over three wild days and nights.
2013: In a controversial 5-4 ruling in United States v. 15 Cheeseburgers We Wish We Were Eating Right Now, the Supreme Court finds that the Defense of Marriage Act is in violation of the equal protection provisions of the Constitution. The ruling is seen as a pivotal moment in the movement for slideshow rights and a catalyst for similar lower court rulings, even in states traditionally hostile to marriages between two slideshows.
Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More