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Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.

How To Combat Harassment Online

Online harassment is an increasingly contentious issue, with social media sites like Twitter and Reddit pressured to crack down on users’ abusive behavior. Here are The Onion’s tips for combating harassment online:

Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?

A Timeline Of Trump’s Relationship With The Press

President-elect Donald Trump routinely insists that he is treated unfairly by the press, while many in the news industry have openly expressed how difficult it can be to report on him in today’s chaotic media environment. Here is a timeline of the major events that have shaped this relationship.
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The Land Of The Free: 10 Ways You KNOW You’re Living In The Greatest Country On Earth

You place your hand on your heart and sing with fervor whenever you hear the stirring opening line of the national anthem: “Around our flag we stand united / With one wish and one goal”
You’ll NEVER forget the names of the Founding Fathers, from Ismail Qemali, to Luigj Gurakuqi, to Dom Nikollë Kaçorri.
November 28 just isn’t Independence Day without family, fireworks, and a big plate of tavë kosi.
You KNOW never to get on the Adriatic–Ionian motorway past 4 p.m.
You are proud to live in the home of the last remaining Balkan lynx.
You perform the dance of Osman Taka every year to commemorate the legendary Cham Albanian leader’s stay of execution under Ottoman imprisonment, when he performed this dance so beautifully that he warmed his captors’ hearts.
You’re totally sick of the Kejsi Tola song “S’jemi më atje.”
You know that it isn’t summer without Lake Skadar. Fun-filled July weekends on this Ramsar-listed wetland of international importance are about as synonymous with the summer season as Pogonishte dancing and walnut cake.
You salute the ol’ red and black wherever you see it flying. These colors don’t run.
No matter whom you voted for, you support your president. Especially if it’s President Bujar Nishani, kicking ass and transitioning the Albanian economy to a free market model since July 2012.

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