adBlockCheck

The Onion Honors Roe v. Wade's 40th Anniversary With List Of Top 10 Abortions Of All Time

Top Headlines

Recent News

Saudi Authorities Decry Wasteful 3-Hour Death-Row Appeals Process

RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA—Criticizing the amount of time and money wasted between a condemned individual’s sentencing and eventual execution, Saudi government officials expressed frustration Monday over the country’s costly three-hour appeals process for convicts facing the death penalty.

Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Satisfaction

The Onion Honors Roe v. Wade's 40th Anniversary With List Of Top 10 Abortions Of All Time

Carla Miller, 22 || Date of Abortion: March 9, 1986 || Location of Abortion: Davenport, Iowa
Barb Hutchins, 42 || Date of Abortion: August 11, 2009 || Location of Abortion: Cleveland, Ohio
Abbie Miller, 13 || Date of Abortion: June 22, 1990 || Location of Abortion: Davenport, Iowa
Carla Miller, 23 || Date of Abortion: October 15, 1986 || Location of Abortion: Davenport, Iowa
Constance Holgrave, 28 || Date of Abortion: June 30, 1873 || Location of Abortion: Ipswich, Massachusetts
Amy Robinson, 17 || Date of Abortion: May 2, 2006 || Location of Abortion: Atlanta, Georgia
Nancy Reagan, 61 || Date of Abortion: July 6, 1982 || Location of Abortion: Washington, D.C.
Sandy, 7 || Date of Abortion: May 2, 1993 || Location of Abortion: Houston, Texas
Maria Christina, Duchess of Teschen, 22 || Date of Abortion: January 5, 1764 || Location of Abortion: Vienna, Austria
Carla Miller, 24 || Date of Abortion: July 8, 1987 || Location of Abortion: Davenport, Iowa

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close