The Onion Honors Roe v. Wade's 40th Anniversary With List Of Top 10 Abortions Of All Time

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Vol 49 Issue 04

North Korea To Test New Nuclear Weapon

In response to recently imposed U.N. sanctions, North Korea vowed to conduct its third test of a nuclear weapon, warning of confrontation with its proclaimed “arch-enemy” the United States.

Study Exposes Risks Of Conducting Research While Driving

NASA continues its search for a planet capable of supporting NASA, Prince Harry announces that he killed some Taliban-looking people during his tour of duty, and a copy of 'The Scarlet Letter'' can't believe the notes a high schooler is writing in its mar...

Friday, February 1

For all those interested in Tami Macon’s newly developed B-cups, a viewing has been scheduled for 5 p.m.
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  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

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The Onion Honors Roe v. Wade's 40th Anniversary With List Of Top 10 Abortions Of All Time

Carla Miller, 22 || Date of Abortion: March 9, 1986 || Location of Abortion: Davenport, Iowa
Barb Hutchins, 42 || Date of Abortion: August 11, 2009 || Location of Abortion: Cleveland, Ohio
Abbie Miller, 13 || Date of Abortion: June 22, 1990 || Location of Abortion: Davenport, Iowa
Carla Miller, 23 || Date of Abortion: October 15, 1986 || Location of Abortion: Davenport, Iowa
Constance Holgrave, 28 || Date of Abortion: June 30, 1873 || Location of Abortion: Ipswich, Massachusetts
Amy Robinson, 17 || Date of Abortion: May 2, 2006 || Location of Abortion: Atlanta, Georgia
Nancy Reagan, 61 || Date of Abortion: July 6, 1982 || Location of Abortion: Washington, D.C.
Sandy, 7 || Date of Abortion: May 2, 1993 || Location of Abortion: Houston, Texas
Maria Christina, Duchess of Teschen, 22 || Date of Abortion: January 5, 1764 || Location of Abortion: Vienna, Austria
Carla Miller, 24 || Date of Abortion: July 8, 1987 || Location of Abortion: Davenport, Iowa
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