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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

Good Times

Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

The Police Blotter

Investigators Blame Stupidity In Area Death
Midwest Peace Talks Shattered By Illinois Toll-Booth Bombing
NYPD Apologizes For Accidental Shooting-Clubbing-Stabbing-Firebombing Death
'Six Flags Killer' Still At Large, Say Souvenir-Bedecked Police
Disgruntled Ninja Silently Kills 12 Co-Workers
Unknown Gunman In Hardee's Parking Lot On Verge Of International Prominence
Murder Suspect To Be Tried By Media: Overworked Justice System Grateful For Help
Nation Shocked By Pre-Natal Shooting
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