The Top 10 Celebrity Pip Blips

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How To Reform The Nation’s Prison System

With pressing issues such as overcrowding, overuse of solitary confinement, and the long-term incarceration of nonviolent offenders, many critics of the nation’s prison system are calling for sweeping reforms. Here are some of the proposals to improve the prison system:

Sight Of 400 War Elephants On Horizon Marks Hillary Clinton’s Arrival In Swing State

WHEELING, OH—Feeling the earth shake beneath them as they watched the procession climb over the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains toward their village, sources along the Ohio border confirmed Thursday that the sight of 400 war elephants marching on the horizon marked Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton’s arrival to the critical swing state.

WNBA MVP Devastated After Roommate Moves Out Without Any Warning

CHICAGO—Saying she is now desperately searching for any options that will prevent her from being evicted, Chicago Sky forward and 2015 WNBA MVP Elena Delle Donne was reportedly left scrambling Thursday after her roommate moved out of their apartment without any warning whatsoever.

Impressive New Hire Figures Out Bare Minimum Of Work Job Requires On First Day

MILWAUKEE—Marveling at his extraordinary ability to learn the ropes at the technology firm and quickly fit right in with the rest of his colleagues, sources at Starpoint Solutions confirmed Thursday that impressive new hire Eric Myers has already figured out the bare minimum of work his job requires on the very first day.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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This Great Song, Bar Sources Report

TOMAH, WI—Pausing their conversations momentarily to call attention to the music playing on the establishment’s jukebox, sources at local bar Shepherd’s confirmed to reporters Friday that this is a great song.


  • How Theaters Are Trying To Win Back Moviegoers

    The number of Americans who went to the movies hit a 20-year low in 2014, leaving theaters scrambling to find ways to incentivize the public to see new releases on the big screen rather than watch films at home or on the internet. Here are some methods theaters are using to win back audiences and increase box office sales:

The Top 10 Celebrity Pip Blips

When it comes to pip blips, Megan Fox takes the cake. Case in point.
Woah! Looks like Keira Knightley ordered up an extra-large order of pip blip, with extra pip.
That’s a SERIOUS pip blip!
Perpetually blip-prone actress Christina Aguilera has a major pip-up while stepping out with gal-pals in New York. Blipped again.
Melissa McCarthy wasn’t afraid to let a pip blip on the red carpet. Talk about a mip trip!
Forget about pip blips. Check out the chip sip on Laura Dern.
What’s flipping hot, has yip-a-licious snips, and rhymes with Plennifer-Ganiston-quip-whip? Why, a Jennifer Aniston pip blip, of course! And none too wibbly, either!
Hold on a that a kip gip plip or a hip sip tip we’re seeing?
What’s a pip-loving flip-gripster like TV legend Alan Alda doing at a notably blipless film premiere? Why, breaking out a diptastic blipshow, of course! A mip to that tip!
Rip quip sip tip wip chip klip lip? Pip wip dip dip, my flip dip. Pip pip pip blip bip wip dip. Gip it. Gip it and flip it.