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The Top 10 Prevented Nip Slips

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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The Top 10 Prevented Nip Slips

Actress Jennifer Lawrence is wearing a dress in this shot, but if she wasn’t then it would be a MAJOR nip slip!
Good thing Jennifer Aniston’s under and outer garments thwarted a pesky nip from popping out!
Paul Reiser’s body was blocking a Helen Hunt nip slip during this 1996 promotional photoshoot for Mad About You.
Here’s a really zoomed-in photo of Eva Longoria’s dress, but, nope, not quite any nipples in sight here.
Worcester, MA paralegal Jennifer Akin just dodged a nip slip of epic proportions!
Whoever lives here should be glad they stayed home today!
TV legend Alan Alda was careful to wear a suit and tie during his walk down the red carpet, preventing the world from seeing those nips!
We almost photoshopped nipples on this tree, but then decided not to.
Over 1.3 billion nip slips here, but fortunately none of them visible from space.
Not a nip slip to be found!

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