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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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The Top 10 Prevented Nip Slips

Actress Jennifer Lawrence is wearing a dress in this shot, but if she wasn’t then it would be a MAJOR nip slip!
Good thing Jennifer Aniston’s under and outer garments thwarted a pesky nip from popping out!
Paul Reiser’s body was blocking a Helen Hunt nip slip during this 1996 promotional photoshoot for Mad About You.
Here’s a really zoomed-in photo of Eva Longoria’s dress, but, nope, not quite any nipples in sight here.
Worcester, MA paralegal Jennifer Akin just dodged a nip slip of epic proportions!
Whoever lives here should be glad they stayed home today!
TV legend Alan Alda was careful to wear a suit and tie during his walk down the red carpet, preventing the world from seeing those nips!
We almost photoshopped nipples on this tree, but then decided not to.
Over 1.3 billion nip slips here, but fortunately none of them visible from space.
Not a nip slip to be found!

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