adBlockCheck

Recent News

Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.

Grandma Looking Like Absolute Shit Lately

VERO BEACH, FL—Unable to ignore the 86-year-old’s dramatic physical decline since they last saw her, sources within the Delahunt family reported Monday that their grandmother Shirley is looking like absolute shit lately.

A Basic Guide To Dream Interpretation

Dreaming is a universal human experience, and many similar themes arise in people’s dreams the world over. The Onion provides some context for interpreting these common dreams:
End Of Section
  • More News

The War In Iraq

Bush Won't Stop Asking CheneyIf We Can Invade Yet
Kuwait Deploys Troop
Bush Offers Taxpayers Another $300If We Go To War
Bush Bravely Leads 3rd Infantry Into Battle
Dead Iraqi Would Have Loved Democracy
U.S. Takes Out Key Iraqi Bases In Midnight Raid
Bush Thought War Would Be Over By Now
137 More Oil Wells Liberated For Democracy
Area Man Supports The TroopsHe Didn't Go To High School With
New Fox Reality ShowTo Determine Ruler Of Iraq
Christmas Brought To Iraq By Force
Christmas Brought To Iraq By Force
U.S. To Give Every Iraqi $3,544.91,Let Free-Market Capitalism Do The Rest
U.S. To Give Every Iraqi $3,544.91,Let Free-Market Capitalism Do The Rest
Saddam Hussein Rules Over Cell With Iron Fist
U.S To Send 30,000 Mall Security Guards To Iraq

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close