The War In Iraq

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How To Reform The Nation’s Prison System

With pressing issues such as overcrowding, overuse of solitary confinement, and the long-term incarceration of nonviolent offenders, many critics of the nation’s prison system are calling for sweeping reforms. Here are some of the proposals to improve the prison system:

Sight Of 400 War Elephants On Horizon Marks Hillary Clinton’s Arrival In Swing State

WHEELING, OH—Feeling the earth shake beneath them as they watched the procession climb over the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains toward their village, sources along the Ohio border confirmed Thursday that the sight of 400 war elephants marching on the horizon marked Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton’s arrival to the critical swing state.

WNBA MVP Devastated After Roommate Moves Out Without Any Warning

CHICAGO—Saying she is now desperately searching for any options that will prevent her from being evicted, Chicago Sky forward and 2015 WNBA MVP Elena Delle Donne was reportedly left scrambling Thursday after her roommate moved out of their apartment without any warning whatsoever.

Impressive New Hire Figures Out Bare Minimum Of Work Job Requires On First Day

MILWAUKEE—Marveling at his extraordinary ability to learn the ropes at the technology firm and quickly fit right in with the rest of his colleagues, sources at Starpoint Solutions confirmed Thursday that impressive new hire Eric Myers has already figured out the bare minimum of work his job requires on the very first day.
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  • ‘Our Town’ Cast Party Going Off The Rails

    PEEKSKILL, NY—Describing a wild scene in which performers and stagehands were loudly conversing, laughing, and occasionally breaking back into their characters from the play, sources confirmed Sunday night that the cast party for the local production of Our Town is currently going off the rails.

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The War In Iraq

Bush Won't Stop Asking CheneyIf We Can Invade Yet
Kuwait Deploys Troop
Bush Offers Taxpayers Another $300If We Go To War
Bush Bravely Leads 3rd Infantry Into Battle
Dead Iraqi Would Have Loved Democracy
U.S. Takes Out Key Iraqi Bases In Midnight Raid
Bush Thought War Would Be Over By Now
137 More Oil Wells Liberated For Democracy
Area Man Supports The TroopsHe Didn't Go To High School With
New Fox Reality ShowTo Determine Ruler Of Iraq
Christmas Brought To Iraq By Force
Christmas Brought To Iraq By Force
U.S. To Give Every Iraqi $3,544.91,Let Free-Market Capitalism Do The Rest
U.S. To Give Every Iraqi $3,544.91,Let Free-Market Capitalism Do The Rest
Saddam Hussein Rules Over Cell With Iron Fist
U.S To Send 30,000 Mall Security Guards To Iraq