Those We Lost In 2011

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Most Likely Candidates For Trump’s Cabinet

If elected president, Donald Trump will have the opportunity to nominate up to 15 cabinet members, each advising him on executive departments. Here are the most rumored choices for Trump’s inner circle.

Cake Just Sitting There

Take It

CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.

Siblings Each Hoping Other One Will Take Care Of Aging Parents Someday

CLEVELAND—Explaining that they simply didn’t want to have to deal with the immense time commitment and emotional exhaustion, sisters Katie and Ellen Cattell each privately admitted to reporters this week that they were hoping the other sibling would someday be the one to take care of their aging parents.
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Those We Lost In 2011

Sherwood Schwartz: "Brady Bunch" creator Sherwood Schwartz died in 2011. He is survived by a vase that is currently being glued back together.
Andy Rooney: In 2011, keyrings with too many keys on them finally took their revenge by brutally murdering the commentator.
Steve Jobs: Apple’s visionary CEO who tragically died before realizing his lifelong dream of an even slightly thinner MacBook.
Ryan Dunn: This beloved Jackass star’s flame may have sputtered out all too soon, but his memory will burn forever in our hearts.
Kevorkian: Blood Clot That Assisted Jack Kevorkian's Death To Serve Jail Time


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