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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Those We Lost In 2011

Sherwood Schwartz: "Brady Bunch" creator Sherwood Schwartz died in 2011. He is survived by a vase that is currently being glued back together.
Andy Rooney: In 2011, keyrings with too many keys on them finally took their revenge by brutally murdering the commentator.
Steve Jobs: Apple’s visionary CEO who tragically died before realizing his lifelong dream of an even slightly thinner MacBook.
Ryan Dunn: This beloved Jackass star’s flame may have sputtered out all too soon, but his memory will burn forever in our hearts.
Kevorkian: Blood Clot That Assisted Jack Kevorkian's Death To Serve Jail Time
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