adBlockCheck

Recent News

Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
End Of Section
  • More News

Those We Lost In 2011

Advertisement
Sherwood Schwartz: "Brady Bunch" creator Sherwood Schwartz died in 2011. He is survived by a vase that is currently being glued back together.
Andy Rooney: In 2011, keyrings with too many keys on them finally took their revenge by brutally murdering the commentator.
Steve Jobs: Apple’s visionary CEO who tragically died before realizing his lifelong dream of an even slightly thinner MacBook.
Ryan Dunn: This beloved Jackass star’s flame may have sputtered out all too soon, but his memory will burn forever in our hearts.
Kevorkian: Blood Clot That Assisted Jack Kevorkian's Death To Serve Jail Time

More from this section

Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close