Those We Lost In 2013

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Area Man

This Great Song, Bar Sources Report

TOMAH, WI—Pausing their conversations momentarily to call attention to the music playing on the establishment’s jukebox, sources at local bar Shepherd’s confirmed to reporters Friday that this is a great song.

Those We Lost In 2013

Margaret Thatcher: The Iron Lady passed away in April of this year, making her the UK’s first-ever dead female prime minister.
Charlie Trotter: The famed chef died at the age of 54 and generously donated his body to culinary science.
Annette Funicello: Funicello, who died at the age of 70 this year, is best remembered as the illegitimate daughter of Mickey Mouse.
Tom Clancy: On October 1, 2013, the nation said goodbye to the last living member of the Rat Pack.
One Lucky Reader: By clicking on this slide, you’ve entered in a contest to be killed by The Onion before the end of the year! Check on December 31 to see the lucky winner’s face added to this slideshow.
Doris Lessing: Flung from a roller coaster at Six Flags in Dallas.
Dennis Farina: His tragic death in July makes him the latest victim of the Reindeer Games curse.
The singing, dancing flowerpot munchkin from ‘The Wizard Of Oz’: The singing, dancing flowerpot munchkin from The Wizard Of Oz captured our hearts and is now shut away in complete blackness beneath the earth.
PNV J20233073+2046041: The white dwarf exploded in August after reaching a peak magnitude of 4.3. It is survived by the rest of the Delphinus constellation.