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Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Bo Obama Addresses Graduates Of Dayton Obedience School

DAYTON, OH—Calling on the 2017 class of canines to make the most of their training as they head out into the world, former first dog Bo Obama delivered a stirring commencement speech Friday to graduates of the Dayton Obedience School.

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Most Notable Google Ventures

Ten years ago this week, Google Street View launched, offering panoramic views of locations all over the world. As the tech giant continues to debut new projects, The Onion highlights some of Google’s most ambitious ventures to date:

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.
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Top 10 Most Adorable Dogs!

Adorable! This cute little lady doesn’t even know she’ll have to be put down in a year due to the ittiest-bittiest little bone cancer.
Somebody wants a nice ol’ belly rub! Better give him one now—none of these big guys ever see their 8th birthdays.
Awwww…who has bilateral hip dysplasia?
Who’s a good boy who only has three years left? You’re a good boy who only has three years left! Yes you are!
Woof! Woof! Good ol’ Buster wouldn’t be so happy if he knew about all the heartworms in his chest.
Don’t you worry your head about this guy; he’s just taking a little doggy nap!
Don’t you just want to snuggle up with that little furry face? You’ve got 15 months. Clock’s ticking. By the way, that dog in the previous image was dead.
Television legend Alan Alda sure isn’t a dog, but he’s already 77! We give old Hawkeye eight more years, tops!
This sweetheart just had a birthday! Hope you got a big ol’ bone for the occasion, lil’ missy—we’re thinking it’ll probably be your last!
Cute. The mother will die Nov. 8, 2014. Other death dates are listed from left to right. Puppy #1 (Aug. 24, 2019, cancer), Puppy #2 (Sept. 4, 2022, uncontrollable epilepsy), Puppy #3 (tomorrow, car), Puppy #4 (tomorrow, same car).

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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

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