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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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Top 9 Black Plague FAILS

Better come quick, Doc, these sick people are REALLY burning up!
GROSS! Another dead guy! FAIL!
Don’t worry, guys. God can cure the bubonic plague….NOT! EPIC FAIL!
I’m not so sure I’d be dancing if I was dead. LOL. FAIL.
Well, at least they put all these dead guys together! FAIL.
These guys have boils ALL OVER their body! SMH
HELP HELP! I’m being burned because I got the black death! FAIL!
More disease ROFL.
Aww what’s the matter? Are you horsies starting to get sick too? EPIC FAIL!

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