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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Top Newsmakers Of 2013

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Pile of Debris: Pile of Debris was everywhere this year. From Syria to Egypt to the Philippines, this collection of fragmented building material couldn’t get off the front page.
13-Year Old Girl Who Sailed Across Ocean: Something like this happened this year. If not across the ocean then some really long distance or without an emergency engine. Maybe it was a boy, or it was actually a brother and sister duo. Could have been a solar-powered car.
The White Race: The Nordic, Alpine, and Mediterranean subdivisions of the great Caucasian peoples maintained their well-deserved influence over world events in 2013, holding their position as the trailblazers of the known world.
Rob Ford: The disgraced Canadian politician was effectively forced out of office in November after failing to enact the across-the-board tax reforms that were the cornerstone of his election campaign.
Roberto Montoya: This professional forger’s copy of Francis Bacon’s Three Studies Of Lucian Freud sold for a record $142.4 million at Christie’s auction house.
Video “Gaming”: Could it change the way YOUR kids play? That’s not a cartoon they’re watching, they’re actually controlling the images on the screen!
Minimum-Wage Worker: 2013 was the undoubtedly the Year of the Minimum-Wage Worker after protests for raising the living wages of employees effected absolutely no change whatsoever.
Barack Obama: The beginning of the president’s second term was plagued with a troubled health care rollout, congressional budget woes, NSA leaks, orca whale abuse, sudden E. coli scares, gun control debate, James Gandolfini’s death, website redesigns, instability in the Middle East, mass shootings, underwhelming box office numbers, building collapses, animal overpopulation, foreclosures, FDA approvals, internet privacy concerns, the cancellation of Enlightened, hostage crises, flash floods, controversial tweets, papal resignations, NFL player safety issues, corruption in local government, pop bands breaking up, predatory lending, massive manhunts, mass protests, military coups, a Miami Heat championship, record high temperatures, NTSB investigations, medical malpractice lawsuits, vacant storefronts, rampant online piracy, bankruptcies, ongoing threats from al-Qaeda, rising sea levels, and worldwide hunger.
Pope Francis: A progressive, empathetic pope who has brought nothing but shame to the Catholic Church.

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