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Top Newsmakers Of 2013

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EPA Urges Flint Residents To Stop Dumping Tap Water Down Drain

FLINT, MI—Citing the significant health and safety risks that it poses to public infrastructure and the local ecosystem, the Environmental Protection Agency released a statement Thursday urging residents of Flint to discontinue dumping tap water down their drains.

New OSHA Regulations To Cut Down On Workplace Mutations

WASHINGTON—In an attempt to address the troubling number of genetic transformations occurring in workplaces across the nation, the United States Occupational Safety and Health Administration unveiled new regulations this week aimed at reducing on-the-job mutations, sources confirmed.

Brita Unveils New In-Throat Water Filters

OAKLAND, CA—Representatives from Brita, the nation’s bestselling brand of household water filtration products, held a press event Wednesday to unveil a new line of filters designed to be installed directly inside users’ throats.

Upcoming Changes To U.S. Currency

Secretary of the Treasury Jack Lew recently announced a series of significant changes to U.S. currency. Here are some of the more notable alterations on the horizon

How The GOP Plans To Stop Trump

In response to Donald Trump’s growing presidential primary lead, here’s how Republican Party leaders are ramping up efforts to prevent him from getting enough delegates to win the nomination outright.
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Top Newsmakers Of 2013

Pile of Debris: Pile of Debris was everywhere this year. From Syria to Egypt to the Philippines, this collection of fragmented building material couldn’t get off the front page.
13-Year Old Girl Who Sailed Across Ocean: Something like this happened this year. If not across the ocean then some really long distance or without an emergency engine. Maybe it was a boy, or it was actually a brother and sister duo. Could have been a solar-powered car.
The White Race: The Nordic, Alpine, and Mediterranean subdivisions of the great Caucasian peoples maintained their well-deserved influence over world events in 2013, holding their position as the trailblazers of the known world.
Rob Ford: The disgraced Canadian politician was effectively forced out of office in November after failing to enact the across-the-board tax reforms that were the cornerstone of his election campaign.
Roberto Montoya: This professional forger’s copy of Francis Bacon’s Three Studies Of Lucian Freud sold for a record $142.4 million at Christie’s auction house.
Video “Gaming”: Could it change the way YOUR kids play? That’s not a cartoon they’re watching, they’re actually controlling the images on the screen!
Minimum-Wage Worker: 2013 was the undoubtedly the Year of the Minimum-Wage Worker after protests for raising the living wages of employees effected absolutely no change whatsoever.
Barack Obama: The beginning of the president’s second term was plagued with a troubled health care rollout, congressional budget woes, NSA leaks, orca whale abuse, sudden E. coli scares, gun control debate, James Gandolfini’s death, website redesigns, instability in the Middle East, mass shootings, underwhelming box office numbers, building collapses, animal overpopulation, foreclosures, FDA approvals, internet privacy concerns, the cancellation of Enlightened, hostage crises, flash floods, controversial tweets, papal resignations, NFL player safety issues, corruption in local government, pop bands breaking up, predatory lending, massive manhunts, mass protests, military coups, a Miami Heat championship, record high temperatures, NTSB investigations, medical malpractice lawsuits, vacant storefronts, rampant online piracy, bankruptcies, ongoing threats from al-Qaeda, rising sea levels, and worldwide hunger.
Pope Francis: A progressive, empathetic pope who has brought nothing but shame to the Catholic Church.

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