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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Top Quotes Of '2012'

President Thomas Wilson: “I'll be the last president of the United States of America. Do you know how that feels, son?”
Charlie Frost: “I’m watching the earth crumble before my eyes.”
Jackson Curtis: “The critics said I was a naïve and unabashed optimist, but what do they know, right?”
Laura Wilson: “All those people we left behind, they don’t stand a chance, do they?”
Carl Anheuser: “Our mission is to ensure the continuity of our species.”
Tony Delgatto: “I was too late.”
President Thomas Wilson: “Today we are one family stepping into the darkness together.”
Dr. Adrian Helmsley: “The moment we stop fighting for each other, that’s the moment we lose our humanity.”
Jackson Curtis: “We’re gonna all stay together no matter what happens.”
Lilly Curtis: “No more pull-ups.”

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