U.S. Foreign Relations

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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U.S. Foreign Relations

Relations Break Down Between U.S. And Them
U.S. Launches AIDS-Awareness Campaign In Botswana: 'You All Have AIDS,' Says U.S.
U.S. Ambassador to Bulungi Suspected of Making the Country Up
Secretary Of State Makes Diplomatic Visit To Totally Fucked-Up Country
$18 Payment To Sponsored Child Withheld To Teach Child A Lesson
U.S. 'Sends Message' to Iraq With Massive Display of Beefcake
Gatorade Pledges $240 Million In Thirst Aid To Underquenched Nations
Humanitarian Aid Check Blown Before It Arrives
Poverty-Stricken Africans Receive Desperately Needed Bibles
U.S. To Give Every Iraqi $3,544.91, Let Free-Market Capitalism Do The Rest