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‘SportsCenter’ Co-Anchors Clearly Dating

BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the pair could barely take their eyes off one another throughout the hour-long sports news program, ESPN viewers told reporters Friday that it is increasingly clear SportsCenter anchors John Anderson and Matt Barrie are currently dating.

Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Second Nintendo Controller Sits Unused
Video-Game Characters Denounce Randomly Placed Swinging Blades
Video-Game Violence Blamed In Giant-Robot Shooting Spree
Local Man Exhausted After Long Day Of Video Games
Video-Game Character Wondering Why Heartless God Always Chooses 'Continue'
Ghost Of Christmas Future Taunts Children With Visions Of PlayStation 5
Depressed Roommate Hitting The GameCube Pretty Hard
Atari Releases Updated Adventure Video Game
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