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Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.

Disney Unveils First Virgin Princess

LOS ANGELES—In an effort to better reflect the diverse backgrounds and experiences of their audience, Disney officials this week introduced Lily of Hazelberry, the company’s first virgin princess.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

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War In Iraq

Military Promises 'Huge Numbers' For Gulf War II: The Vengeance
Bush Bravely Leads 3rd Infantry Into Battle
Rumsfeld Makes Surprise Visit To Wife's Vagina
U.S. To Send 30,000 Mall Security Guards To Iraq
Christmas Brought To Iraq By Force
Bush Elected President of Iraq
Iraqi Constitution Ratified, Burned
U.S. Troops Draw Up Own Exit Strategy
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