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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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War On Drugs

First Place Cops Looked Was Inside AT-AT
Stoner Architect Drafts All-Foyer Mansion
Study: High Times Not A Gateway Magazine To Harder Readings
Everyone Involved In Pizza's Preparation, Delivery, Purchase Extremely High
DEA Seizes Half-Built Suspension Bridge From Bogotá To Miami
Stoner Regales Friends With Tale Of This One Bong He Saw In Iowa City Once
Drug Paraphernalia Visible In Photo Of Missing Cat
Drugs Now Legal If User Is Employed
Bush Vows To Wipe Out Prescription-Drug Addiction Among Seniors
Huge Quantities Of Primo Shit Incinerated By Feds
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