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Disney Unveils First Virgin Princess

LOS ANGELES—In an effort to better reflect the diverse backgrounds and experiences of their audience, Disney officials this week introduced Lily of Hazelberry, the company’s first virgin princess.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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War On Drugs

First Place Cops Looked Was Inside AT-AT
Stoner Architect Drafts All-Foyer Mansion
Study: High Times Not A Gateway Magazine To Harder Readings
Everyone Involved In Pizza's Preparation, Delivery, Purchase Extremely High
DEA Seizes Half-Built Suspension Bridge From Bogotá To Miami
Stoner Regales Friends With Tale Of This One Bong He Saw In Iowa City Once
Drug Paraphernalia Visible In Photo Of Missing Cat
Drugs Now Legal If User Is Employed
Bush Vows To Wipe Out Prescription-Drug Addiction Among Seniors
Huge Quantities Of Primo Shit Incinerated By Feds
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