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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Who Said It: Kanye West Or An Instruction Manual For The Cuisinart CRC-400 Electric Rice Cooker?

“Place rice in cooking bowl and add liquid to appropriate line marking.” Who said it?
Answer: Cuisinart Rice Cooker Manual
“Cover the cooking bowl with lid. Make sure the steam vent is facing toward the back of the unit.” Who said it?
Answer: Cuisinart Rice Cooker Manual
“Once the rice is cooked, the unit will automatically switch to the Warm setting and the Warm LED will be illuminated until the unit is unplugged.” Who said it?
Answer: Cuisinart Rice Cooker Manual
“Wipe base of unit with a soft, damp cloth or microfiber towel. NEVER IMMERSE BASE OF UNIT IN WATER.” Who said it?
Answer: Cuisinart Rice Cooker Manual
“Preprogrammed settings include sushi rice, brown rice, regular rice, soft grains, slow cooking (for stews and soups), steaming (for vegetables and seafood) and quick cooking.” Who said it?
Answer: Cuisinart Rice Cooker Manual
“One cup of uncooked rice makes approximately three cups of cooked rice.” Who said it?
Answer: Cuisinart Rice Cooker Manual
“If you are experiencing problems with your Cuisinart product, we suggest that you call our Consumer Service Center at 1-800-726-0190 before returning the product for servicing.” Who said it?
Answer: Kanye West quoting from the Cuisinart Rice Cooker manual in his Grammy acceptance speech for My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
“Fluff rice with paddle or utensil suitable for nonstick cookware.” Who said it?
Answer: Cuisinart Rice Cooker Manual

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