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Cleaning

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.

Area Man Cleans Apartment Once Every Relationship

NEW YORK—Saying that he doesn’t like to let dust and clutter pile up for too long, area man Justin Buntz informed reporters Wednesday that he gives his one-bedroom apartment a thorough cleaning once every relationship.

Department Of Interior To Clean Nation's Filter

40 Million Tons Of Gunk Clogging Up Country

WASHINGTON—Interior Secretary Ken Salazar announced Tuesday that a maintenance crew would begin work this week cleaning the nation's filter in order to remove the estimated 40 million tons of gunk, crud, and muck currently clogging up the country.
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