NEW YORK—Bringing a notable chapter of National Fantasy Athletics Association history to a close, Brad’s Awesome Team relocated this week from 22.214.171.124 to 65.432.87.292. “This is an emotional day in our team’s history, but more than anything, it is an exciting step forward for our franchise,” said team owner Brad Blevins, adding that the move will improve the team’s competitiveness, in addition to offering fans a superior gameday experience, including pregame entertainment presented by Netflix and faster in-game updates of stats and scores. “We look forward to forging a new era in team history at 65.432.87.292, all the while never forgetting the memories made in our former home.” At press time, Blevins announced a lucrative naming rights deal with Lenovo’s IdeaPad Yoga11S reportedly worth $749.00.
SPONSORED POST · Lenovo · 09/30/2013
I hereby approve this commercial endeavor as fit for publication in The Onion news-paper. May the ox of journalism always be yoked to the cart of commerce.
Yours in avarice,
T. Herman Zweibel
Publisher Emeritus, The Onion