2010 Midterm Election Guide

Key Races: The House

Alabama 2nd Congressional District: Bobby Bright (D) vs. Martha Roby (R) Campaign bus name: Bright: ReidRod Roby: AngleWagon Time to eat a 72-ounce steak: Bright: Didn't finish Roby: 25 minutes, 17 seconds ...

Key Races: Senate

Wisconsin: Russ Feingold (D) vs. Ron Johnson (R) Barber: Feingold: Tony's on Jefferson Avenue Johnson: Wife cuts his hair Position on taxes: Feingold: Extend tax cuts for only bottom 90% of earners Johnson: Ex...

Key Races: Senate

Nevada: Harry Reid (D) vs. Sharron Angle (R) Campaign bus name: Reid: ReidRod Angle: AngleWagon Position on foreign policy: Reid: Wants U.S. military to be powerful Angle: Wants U.S. military to be mighty ...

Key Races: Governor

New York: Carl Paladino (R) vs. Andrew Cuomo (D) Eyes: Paladino: Droopy-serious Cuomo: Twinkly-hopeful Stance on gay marriage: Paladino: Against, because why buy the cow? Cuomo: For it, but not sure about the...

Key Races: Governor

California Jerry Brown (D) vs. Meg Whitman (R) Business experience: Brown: Former eBay Power-Seller of Oakland Raiders mud flaps Whitman: Former CEO of eBay
End Of Section
  • More News

Key Races: The House


Carol Shea-Porter (D) vs. Frank Guinta (R)

Campaign promise:

  • Shea-Porter: Will double the maple syrup subsidy and impose a tariff on foreign foliage
  • Guinta: Vows to eliminate wasteful government bodies like the Department of Energy, the Department of Education, and the Coast Guard

Opinion of New Hampshire:

  • Shea-Porter: It's fine
  • Guinta: Could take it or leave it

Simpler times:

  • Shea-Porter: Butter churn
  • Guinta: Griddle cakes

Ever got drunk at a quarry:

  • Shea-Porter: No comment
  • Guinta: Went to boarding school

Biggest campaign blunder:

  • Shea-Porter: Forgot to approve message during campaign commercial
  • Guinta: Accidentally campaigned in Vermont for six weeks before realizing he was in wrong state

Lifestyle choice:

  • Shea-Porter: Living free
  • Guinta: Dying

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.