BALTIMORE—According to sources at Milford Mill High School's 30-year reunion, alumnus Ira Glass spent most of Saturday's event laboring to explain his public radio program, This American Life, to former classmates.
NORFOLK, NE—Three days after the unexpected death of star quarterback Chad McIntyre, Norfolk High School's second-most popular kid announced Tuesday that he would immediately be assuming the duties of coolest person in school.
As they head to college for the first time, freshmen will be faced with a wide array of meal plans through their dormitories. The choices can be dizzying. Here are some of the typical university dining options.
We here at The Onion are fully aware that our own reporters, like all members of the power-mad, out-of-control media, frequently overstep these sacred boundaries by scrutinizing the decisions and actions that those in mighty seats of authority, such as Mr. Gianforte, do not wish to discuss.