Americans Take Brief Break From Waiting On Hold With Insurance Providers To Celebrate Obamacare Ruling

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Features Of The Obama Presidential Library

Barack Obama announced Tuesday that his presidential library will be built on the South Side of Chicago, with construction on the ambitious project due for completion by 2020 or 2021. Here are some features the new library will contain

Keystone Veto Buys Environment At Least 3 Or 4 More Hours

WASHINGTON—Emphasizing the numerous ecological benefits of blocking the proposed legislation, experts confirmed Wednesday that President Obama’s decision to veto the Keystone XL pipeline bill should buy the environment an additional three or f...
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  • How Theaters Are Trying To Win Back Moviegoers

    The number of Americans who went to the movies hit a 20-year low in 2014, leaving theaters scrambling to find ways to incentivize the public to see new releases on the big screen rather than watch films at home or on the internet. Here are some methods theaters are using to win back audiences and increase box office sales:

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FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States

Global Soccer Tournament To Kick Off In America Later This Afternoon

ZURICH—After the Justice Department indicted numerous executives from world soccer’s governing body on charges of corruption and bribery, frantic and visibly nervous officials from FIFA held an impromptu press conference Wednesday to announce that the United States has been selected to host this summer’s 2015 World Cup.

Americans Take Brief Break From Waiting On Hold With Insurance Providers To Celebrate Obamacare Ruling

WASHINGTON—Following the Supreme Court’s decision to uphold crucial portions of the Affordable Care Act, citizens across the country reportedly took a brief break Thursday from waiting on hold with their insurance providers to celebrate. “This is a great day,” said Chicago resident David Snyder, one of millions of Americans who paused for a moment while trying to determine if their preferred doctor was in-network, checking on the status of an outstanding claim, or fighting a dubious charge that had appeared on their latest billing statement in order to revel in the court’s landmark ruling. “I can’t even say how big a relief it is that—hello? Hello? Dammit, they fucking hung up on me!” At press time, approximately 500,000 Americans were reportedly praising Chief Justice John Roberts for issuing the majority opinion while making a third attempt to navigate their health insurance company’s automated phone tree.