‘Some Of This Is Probably Water,’ Man In Stadium Bathroom Hopes

Top Headlines


End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage


  • Doctors Recommend Getting 8 Centuries Of Cryosleep

    STANFORD, CA—Claiming that the practice is essential for effectively recharging the body and waking fully rested and alert, doctors at Stanford University issued a report Monday emphasizing the importance of getting at least eight centuries of atomi...


‘Some Of This Is Probably Water,’ Man In Stadium Bathroom Hopes

CLEVELAND—Gingerly stepping around several of the largest wet patches on the floor, local Indians fan Mark Freel reportedly assured himself Tuesday that at least some of the liquid covering the ground of the men’s bathroom at Progressive Field was most likely water. “It’s probably just water from the sink that trickled over here, or maybe from a leaky pipe somewhere,” Freel reportedly thought while averting his gaze from the quarter-inch puddle of opaque liquid that stretched from the sinks to the urinal trough. “And I bet it’s only that color because it got mixed with the dirt on the floor. Yeah, that’s...that’s probably it.” At press time, Freel was attempting to convince himself that whatever dripped on his arm when he was exiting the bathroom was clean and perfectly harmless.