Tsarnaev Death Penalty A Warning To Any Other Religious Fanatics Hoping To Be Martyred

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Breaking News: Boston

Dzhokar Tsarnaev Finally Moves Off Campus

BOSTON—After living in residence halls during his first three semesters at the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth, sophomore student Dzhokar Tsarnaev was finally able to get a place of his own and move off campus this week, the 19-year-old told r...

Dzhokar Tsarnaev Posts Bail

BOSTON—Days after being apprehended for his alleged role in last week’s Boston Marathon attack, suspected bomber Dzhokar Tsarnaev reportedly posted bail earlier today, prompting authorities to release him from custody.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • Father Apologizes For Taking Out Anger On Wrong Son

    ELIZABETH, NJ—Moments after losing his composure with an unwarranted emotional outburst, local father David Kessler reportedly apologized to his son Christopher Thursday for erroneously taking out his anger on him and not his older brother Peter.

Area Man

This Great Song, Bar Sources Report

TOMAH, WI—Pausing their conversations momentarily to call attention to the music playing on the establishment’s jukebox, sources at local bar Shepherd’s confirmed to reporters Friday that this is a great song.