adBlockCheck

careers

Man Praying Interviewer Doesn’t Ask Any Questions

MINNEAPOLIS—His mouth going dry and his palms growing sweaty as he arrived at the offices of Regent Advertising Partners to interview for an open account manager position, local man Devin McKee reportedly prayed Thursday that the hiring manager wouldn’t ask him any questions during their meeting.

The Post-College Job Hunt

Members of the class of 2011 are facing an anemic job market as the national unemployment rate hovers around 9 percent.

Study: 89 Percent Of Networking Nonconsensual

ATLANTA—A new study published Tuesday by Emory University determined that 89 percent of networking encounters occur forcibly and without the consent of one of the parties involved, a disturbing finding that suggests far more people are victims of unwanted career-related discussions than was previously thought.

Résumé Font Offends Employer

CHARLOTTE, NC—The decision to set his résumé in default-font Times–New Roman "deeply, personally, and irrevocably" offended a...
End Of Section
  • More News

26-Year-Old Feeling Self-Conscious After Seeing All His Friends Fail Slightly Less Than Him

NEW YORK—Saying it was hard not to unfavorably compare himself to his peers, part-time catering assistant Ian Presser, 26, told reporters Thursday that he feels self-conscious after always seeing his friends fail slightly less than him. “When everyone in my social circle is making $1.50 an hour more than me and lasting six months at their jobs before getting fired, I can’t help feeling like I don’t stack up,” said Presser, adding that his friends’ total ineptitude at maintaining healthy relationships makes him acutely aware of his inability to land a single date. “Am I happy for them? Sure. But it still really stings when I hear that my buddy is pulling in 28 G’s and living in a one-bedroom with only two other roommates. It’s like, ‘What am I doing wrong?’” Presser went on to say that he at least took some solace in the fact that he lasted a semester longer than his brother before dropping out of college.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

The Post-College Job Hunt

Members of the class of 2011 are facing an anemic job market as the national unemployment rate hovers around 9 percent.

Study: 89 Percent Of Networking Nonconsensual

ATLANTA—A new study published Tuesday by Emory University determined that 89 percent of networking encounters occur forcibly and without the consent of one of the parties involved, a disturbing finding that suggests far more people are victims of unwanted career-related discussions than was previously thought.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close