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Man Praying Interviewer Doesn’t Ask Any Questions

MINNEAPOLIS—His mouth going dry and his palms growing sweaty as he arrived at the offices of Regent Advertising Partners to interview for an open account manager position, local man Devin McKee reportedly prayed Thursday that the hiring manager wouldn’t ask him any questions during their meeting.

The Post-College Job Hunt

Members of the class of 2011 are facing an anemic job market as the national unemployment rate hovers around 9 percent.

Study: 89 Percent Of Networking Nonconsensual

ATLANTA—A new study published Tuesday by Emory University determined that 89 percent of networking encounters occur forcibly and without the consent of one of the parties involved, a disturbing finding that suggests far more people are victims of unwanted career-related discussions than was previously thought.
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New Report Finds U.S. Employees Most Engaged At Workplace While Working As Frontman Of Styx

CHICAGO—Saying it was by far the strongest predictor of high workplace morale, a new report released Thursday by researchers at the University of Chicago found that employees in the United States are most engaged at their jobs while working as the frontman of rock band Styx. “Whether they’re belting out power ballads like ‘Come Sail Away’ or straight-ahead guitar-driven hits like ‘Renegade,’ our findings consistently show that being the frontman of Styx is the most important factor in determining whether employees are fully invested in their jobs,” said lead author Ryan Sexton, whose research found that, across all demographic categories, workers were much more likely to put in extra hours and come in on weekends when they were traveling on a 26-stop cross-country United We Rock tour with REO Speedwagon. “Our data clearly indicates that employees are never more motivated than when donning a robot mask and performing ‘Mr. Roboto’ for a stadium of screaming fans as part of the Kilroy Was Here rock opera. They were also much more likely to take on additional synthesizer responsibilities of their own initiative.” Despite their robust levels of engagement, the report also found that workers employed as the frontman of Styx did not remain with the band throughout their career and were in fact laid off and replaced after a little more than a decade.

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