Sprint’s New Long-Distance Relationship Plan Offers Decreased Minutes Each Month

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Apple Releases Brief, Fleeting Moment Of Excitement

CUPERTINO, CA—Ending weeks of anticipation and intense speculation, tech giant Apple unveiled a short and fleeting moment of excitement to the general public Tuesday during a media event at its corporate headquarters.

Test-Driving The New Smartphones

If you're on the go, doing three shows a day at a marine park, it's hard to keep up with e-mail, and text messaging can be a real time-suck....
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • The Onion’s Guide To Beach Etiquette

    The arrival of summer means that the nation’s beaches will soon be crowded with swimmers, tanners, surfers, and more, so it’s important for everyone to be conscious of each other’s space and needs. Here are some etiquette tips to ensure that everyone has a safe and relaxing time at the beach:

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Sprint’s New Long-Distance Relationship Plan Offers Decreased Minutes Each Month

NEW YORK—Touting it as a cost-effective and more customized option for many subscribers, Sprint this week announced a new wireless calling plan for people in long-distance relationships that offers a decreasing number of minutes each month. “Starting with 500 shared anytime minutes that gradually dwindle on a month-by-month basis, our first-of-its-kind long-distance relationship plan offers a great value for customers living in a different city than their significant other,” Sprint spokesperson Meredith Kane said of the no-contract plan, which also offers a diminishing texting option and instant voicemail deletion. “Our subscribers will love the ability to use unlimited FaceTime for the first three months and then pay a lower fee as they slowly cut back on video calls to maybe every other week. Best of all, they can gradually rededicate the 500 MB of data they use for sharing sexually explicit photos with someone 1,500 miles away to someone in their local area at no additional cost.” Kane went on to say that even if customers decide to terminate their long-distance plan, they will still have access to a complete archive of all photos and texts that they can obsess over as often as they want.


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