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Second Amendment A Little Creeped Out By How Obsessed Americans Are With It

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Iraqi Constitution Ratified, Burned

BAGHDAD—The people of Iraq celebrated the passage of their new constitution Monday, in a formal ceremony that included a stirring speech by Iraqi President Jalal Talabani, a series of explosions that left 77 dead, and a traditional dance performed by Iraqi schoolchildren. After many weeks of squabbling and protracted negotiations between Kurds, Sunnis, and Shiites, the historic document was declared the law of the land and destroyed...

Iraqi Constitution

Iraq unveiled the final draft of its constitution last week. What are some of the provisions?

Special 'Framers' Cut' Of Constitution To Feature Five Deleted Amendments

WASHINGTON, DC–The National Archives and Records Administration announced plans Monday to release a special "framers' cut" of the Constitution featuring five bonus amendments deleted from the original. According to NARA head John Carlin, the new document includes "more than the 35 lines of never-before-seen provisions sure to thrill history buffs." Among the goodies: an early draft of the Fifth Amendment protecting citizens from being put in quintuple jeopardy and a rare, unnumbered Amendment granting each member of Congress the right to "one concubine of his choosing per term served." The expanded version will also include "framers' commentary" by Alexander Hamilton and James Madison written in the margins, as well as a "Making Of The Constitution" document after the list of framers' signatures.
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Second Amendment A Little Creeped Out By How Obsessed Americans Are With It

WASHINGTON—Expressing its concern that the fixation had grown “a little out of control,” the Second Amendment of the United States Constitution reported Thursday that it was pretty creeped out by how obsessed Americans are with it. “At first, the constant attention was flattering, but at this point, it’s starting to get kind of weird,” said the legal statute ratified in 1791, explaining how unsettling it was to hear U.S. citizens talking about it all the time and see all the comments written about it online. “Look, I understand that I’m a constitutional amendment and there’s a lot of admiration that comes with that, but that doesn’t mean you have to completely worship me this way. It’s not healthy. Maybe try to find something else to focus on—there are other amendments, too, you know? The 17th Amendment is great.” The Second Amendment later admitted how relieved it was to be protected from “all the psychos out there” by a 3/8-inch-thick pane of bulletproof glass.

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