Texas To Execute Death Row Inmates With New 3-Drug Molotov Cocktail

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Saudi Authorities Decry Wasteful 3-Hour Death-Row Appeals Process

RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA—Criticizing the amount of time and money wasted between a condemned individual’s sentencing and eventual execution, Saudi government officials expressed frustration Monday over the country’s costly three-hour appeals process for convicts facing the death penalty.

4 Out Of 5 Texas Dentists Advocate The Death Penalty

DALLAS—According to a study released Monday by the Texas Dental Association, four out of five dentists in the Lone Star State advocate the use of capital punishment. "About 80 percent of the dentists surveyed recommend brushing three times daily, regular dental check-ups, and death by lethal injection should a prisoner be found guilty of homicide in a court of law," TDA spokeswoman Stacy Gunderson said. "Simply putting criminals in hard-to-reach places isn't enough of a deterrent. Rinsing the scum out of death row is vital for the long-term health of this state." Gunderson then called for justice, and plenty of all-natural sugar-free snacks, to be served.
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Texas To Execute Death Row Inmates With New 3-Drug Molotov Cocktail

HUNTSVILLE, TX—In response to a nationwide shortage of the chemicals conventionally used to carry out capital punishment, officials from the Texas Department of Criminal Justice announced Friday that the state would begin executing death row inmates with an experimental new three-drug Molotov cocktail. “Once the inmate has been secured to the execution table, a technician will proceed to dispense precise doses of an anesthetic, a paralytic, and gasoline into an appropriately sized glass liquor bottle,” said TDCJ spokesperson Jane Dawson, adding that, beginning at exactly midnight, prison personnel would follow a prescribed protocol of allowing the offender to state any final words, igniting a butane lighter, and then setting alight an oil-soaked rag stuffed partway into the bottle’s neck. “Finally, barring any last-minute stay from the governor, the technician will commence the procedure by hurling the bottle at a carefully chosen point on the inmate’s body.” Officials further stated that should the initial Molotov cocktail of drugs fail to render the inmate deceased, additional bottles would be administered until he or she is pronounced dead.

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