adBlockCheck

Anti-Doping Agency Unnerved By Bob Costas’ Repeated Requests To Submit Urine Sample

Top Headlines

drugs

A Timeline Of Marijuana Legalization

With Pennsylvania becoming the 24th state to legalize medical marijuana, many lawmakers are weighing whether to decriminalize the drug. Here is a timeline of marijuana’s journey from restricted substance to everyday commodity.

How To Get A Medical Marijuana Card

With 23 states now allowing the use of medical marijuana, many citizens are wondering how to obtain the substance safely and legally. Here is a step-by-step look at how to get and use a medical marijuana card

Report Finds Drug Tunnels Most Intact Transport Infrastructure In U.S.

ARLINGTON, VA—Touting the extensive safety precautions, routine maintenance, and limited congestion, a report published Friday by the American Transportation Research Institute revealed that drug tunnels are now the most intact and reliable form of transport infrastructure in the United States.

New Music Festival Just Large Empty Field To Do Drugs In

Declaring the event a rousing success so far, organizers confirmed more than 45,000 people turned out Wednesday for the first annual Cavalcade Folk and Roots Festival, a four-day gathering that consists solely of a big empty field to do drugs in.

Spaced-Out Flower Child Groovin’ On A Doobie Wave

BRATTLEBORO, VT—In an effort to experience a happening freak-out in an outta sight way, a far-out chick is, sources confirmed, currently groovin’ on a doobie wave, feeling the vibes, and tripping out on a psychedelic reefer wave.

The Case For And Against Legalizing Marijuana

Uruguay's legislature is voting today to make their country the first in the world to legally regulate the production, distribution, and sale of marijuana, while here in the U.S., state lawmakers continue to weigh arguments over whether to follow Color...
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Anti-Doping Agency Unnerved By Bob Costas’ Repeated Requests To Submit Urine Sample

MONTREAL—Saying they have received multiple phone calls and emails from the NBC Sports host every day for the past four weeks, members of the World Anti-Doping Agency told reporters Tuesday they were extremely unnerved by Bob Costas’ repeated requests to submit his own urine sample ahead of the 2016 Summer Olympics. “When we were first contacted by Mr. Costas back in early July, we thought it was a mistake, but then he called us five more times that same day trying to talk us into accepting and testing his urine, and he hasn’t stopped reaching out to us ever since—it’s getting a bit uncomfortable,” said WADA chair Beckie Scott, adding that the agency has also received 19 unsolicited, perfectly sealed and labeled test kits in the mail from Mr. Costas despite never sending him any of the necessary materials to provide a specimen in the first place. “We’ve made it extremely clear to him that broadcasters do not have to undergo this process, but that hasn’t deterred him from continuing to fax us his filled-out paperwork and release forms. Last week, he even showed up at our facility in person carrying about a dozen full collection cups of his own urine. It’s pretty disturbing, to be completely honest.” At press time, Scott reported that another package had just arrived from Costas containing blood samples, a cheek swab, and several ounces of fecal matter, with a note from the anchor reading “Just in case.”

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close